Booze America

Swizzle in, Swazzle out.

Woke up to the sun shining in my eyes as it rose over a Mesa off in the distance. About 46 seconds later the RV started to sway as I realized it was either an earthquake or an 18 wheeler because we stopped on the side of the road. It was the latter. Driving through monument valley and all of the mesas and buttes was a great way to start the day but we had bigger and better things on our mind, namely the Grand Canyon.

The Grand Canyon was probably the thing all of us were most excited about. One of the seven wonders of the world can only be described as breath taking. It literally takes your breath away. As we walked down to the rim it was silent despite there being dozens of people in a small dead end area. The people who were talking were whispering as not to disturb the moment. After picking our jaws up off the ground we set out to see a few other different areas of the canyon.

We found an area with a trail that lets you hike out and explore the rim on your own, away from the confines of the guard rails. It was scary and exhilarating at the same time and I’m pleased to say we’re all still accounted for.

After a half day at the canyon we headed down to Sedona to go cliff jumping of all things. Fortunately the cliff was a little lower than the ones we found in the canyon. Unfortunately the water was low since the area hasn’t gotten that much rain, we are in the desert after all. Undeterred we cracked some beers and took the plunge into the water which was about 2 degrees from being frozen. Glacier water.
Cross cliff jumping off the list!

We took a quick stroll around beautiful Sedona then set out to a ghost town, Bumble Bee Arizona. With a population of 19 humans, 45 horses and 161 cattle the place was BUMPIN’! ..literally we had to drive on a 3 mile dirt road at 10mph which felt like driving over rumble strips for 20 minutes, it was bumpy. Unfortunately in a ghost town there aren’t any street lights.. When we got there we couldn’t see more than 20 feet in front of us before the high beams got devoured by the pitch black night air.

Monument valley - Win
Grand Canyon - Win
Cliff Jumping - Win
Ghost town - Meh

Depressed that we ended on a low note we did what anyone who’s depressed does, do I really have to say it? Being a fan of dives we found a nice corner spot in Phoenix called the Swizzle inn where you Swizzle in and Swazzle out. It was a really cool dive with a juke box, pool table, patio and a rather large bar. There were only a couple locals inside when we rolled in.

JP and Cheeze took to the pool table with their first round. Renee and I lingered at the bar and noticed a suspicious looking bottle on the bar label “Mystery Shot” which we obviously saw as a challenge. Immediately on smell we thought it was a spiced rum, like Captain’s, or maybe Bicardi. Using techniques we’ve gained over the years we deduced that it couldnt be soco lime, our 3rd guess, and it had to be Rum. A local who claimed to “know exactly whet it was” informed us it was soco lime which led to a debate which led to us befriending him before his friends came to drag him out. Of course after he left we had to coax the bartender to show us what was in the bag and it was

*drumroll*

Bicardi Oakheart, bicardi’s spiced rum. We’re good eh?

We polished off the Mystery Shot bottle and closed down the bar with the bartender as per usual and stumbled back to the RV for the after party and the last night we’ll spend on the RV before slimming down to a car for that San Diego beach weather!

-Big Mike

Manifest Destiny Part II

Arriving to New Mexico felt like stepping into a different world. Or perhaps just Mexico. The culture is definitely different than New England.

We stopped at Pecos Pueblo which was amazing. Lots of history there. It was only about 30 minutes from Santa Fe so we went into the city to grab some authentic Mexican food and Sangria. Delicious.

It was a long day full of driving, but the view was much more impressive than the barren roads of the Great Plains. We wanted to be drunk in four states at once which is possible in only one location in the country—the borders of Colorado, Utah, Arizona and New Mexico. We didn’t get there until around midnight without realizing that it was an Indian Resevation National Park type thing and closed at dusk.

We would have accepted our defeat at this point if we didn’t go hundreds of miles out of our way to see the four corners monument. That, and the influence of hefty servings of Honey Jack.

After gearing up for our adventure, pouring a road soda and discussing a game plan, we slid under the barb wire and started out on the half mile walk. This place is in the middle of NOWHERE in the desert. There are no towns or lights around for miles minus the handful of trailers inside the reservation. It’s cold as shit and so dark you can’t see your own hands in front of your face. We didn’t want to turn on our light because it would be a dead giveaway.

We are all pretty terrified, half because we don’t want to get scalped by some angry drunk Indian and half because at any point a wild animal could tear shit up if it found us.

We are about to pass the gift shop when we stop dead in our tracks because we think we see a dark figure in the distance. After a few quick seconds of diliberation, we decide to risk the light and do a quick flash to see what the hell is out there. Turns out it is just a sign for the gift shop. Thank god.

We keep quickly moving forward desperately wanting to get the hell out of this place. Mike passes me the bottle full of Jack n’ Coke but the transition slips and the bottle shatters on the ground. Fail. Luckily, we weren’t near the trailers at the time.

Finally we see a structure ahead of us and realize it is the monument. We get a couple pictures and make our way back to the RV. The celebration was monumental.

We got back on the road and made our joyus ride to Monument Valley on the border of Utah and Arizona to stop for the night. We continue the party once we get there at 4 in the morning. This includes finishing every ounce of alcohol in our possession, lighting off smoke grenades and having a rager in an RV in the middle of nowhere. Literally it is just sand, the boozeAmerica kids and giant red rock monuments in the distance. Such a strange feeling. What wasn’t strange was the colossal hangover we all had in the morning.

The cure? The god damn GRAND CANYON!

-Renizzle

Panhandle Party

Keeping in the tradition of the rest of the surrounding states Texas countryside is as barren as the rest just replacing the corn fields with cattle fields and wind farms. Both of which we became quite familiar with while in Amarillo.

First up, Cadillac ranch. It’s basically a line of cars sticking out of the ground which have been tagged multiple times over the years with graffiti making it into a tourist attraction/art exhibit. Upon getting there we faced a dust storm with COLD winds whipping dust and rain.
(Who knew that Texas would be the coldest stop on our trip thus far?)

We settled in at our campground and posted up sipping Bloody’s, to keep warm, while waiting to be escorted to The Big Texan Steakhouse via limo complete with bullhorns on the hood. This restaurant is the 2nd biggest tourist attraction in the city after Cadillac ranch. You may have seen it on Man vs Food when Adam eats the 72oz steak. None of us were hungry enough to attempt eating half a steer but the dinner was fantastic nonetheless! We tried Rocky Mountain Oysters, not seafood, google it.

We conned the limo into taking us to downtown Amarillo so we could explore. What we found was a ghost town. I’m not sure if it was because it was a Monday night, because it was freezing and windy, or because nobody actually lives in the city but we found a nice martini bar for some post dinner drinks. Unfortunately, despite the $4 specials, it wasn’t doing the trick for the boozeAmerica crew and we took to the cold, (noticing a pattern here?) empty streets to find a more suitable watering hole.

Enter Rumors. A local dive about a mile and a half away which, if you’ve been paying attention, was a struggle considering the weather. I must say it was well worth the trip as we stumbled upon a gem of a bar. Sunday through Thursday they have $2 “you-pick-it” specials meaning a round for the 4 of us was $8… Um, yes please?

The locals were all impressed we made the trek on foot to their local spot. We made friends rather quickly and yadda yadda yadda I’m riding a tiny bike through the bar for a free shot… Countless $8 rounds later and we decided to call it a night (aka we got kicked out at closing)

Up bright and early this morning and just crossed over into the pacific time zone cruising into New Mexico, land of the enchanted.

Gained an hour and ready to be enchanted!

-Big Mike